Can Parents Disagree About Therapy for Their Child in California?
Few custody disputes are more emotional than disagreements over a child’s mental health. One parent believes therapy is essential. The other thinks it isn’t necessary, worries about the diagnosis, or is concerned about the therapist.
I’ve represented many parents facing difficult disagreements like these. The first thing I tell them is this: stop treating the issue like a contest to prove who is the better parent. The focus should always be on what is best for your child.
Start With Your Custody Orders
Whether one parent can make decisions about counseling often depends on the custody orders already in place. Legal custody generally addresses major decisions involving a child’s health, education, and welfare. Before scheduling appointments—or refusing them—understand what your court orders actually say.
Every Child Is Different
There is no universal answer to whether a child should attend therapy. Age, maturity, family dynamics, recommendations from qualified professionals, and the child’s specific needs all matter. Two families can have very similar facts and still require different solutions.
Don’t Put Your Child in the Middle
One of the biggest mistakes I see is parents asking children to choose a therapist, report what happens in counseling, or take sides in the disagreement. Therapy should be a safe place for children—not another battleground in the divorce.
Work Toward Solutions
When possible, I encourage parents to gather reliable information before positions harden. Sometimes additional discussions with qualified treatment providers help answer questions. In other situations, legal guidance is needed to determine the appropriate next step under the existing custody orders.
My No-BS Advice
Don’t make therapy a weapon in your custody case. If your child genuinely needs support, the adults should be focused on helping—not scoring points against each other. Good legal strategy and good parenting often have one thing in common: they require patience, preparation, and putting the child first.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can one parent unilaterally start therapy?
That depends on the custody orders and the specific circumstances.
Will a judge decide whether my child should attend therapy?
If parents cannot resolve the dispute, the court may be asked to address issues relating to legal custody and decision-making.
Should my child tell me everything discussed in therapy?
Every family and treatment situation is different. Discuss concerns with the treating professional and your attorney when appropriate.
Talk to Finan Family Law
At Finan Family Law, we help parents throughout Torrance, the South Bay, and Los Angeles County navigate difficult custody disputes with practical, straightforward advice. If you and your co-parent disagree about important decisions affecting your child, we’re here to help you understand your options.