Oftentimes, people who are entering into the divorce process can feel starved for the affection, romance, and tenderness that might have been missing from their marriage for a very long time, and so there can be an overwhelming impulse to get “back out there” and go on dates, perhaps with someone who has long been in their life or with relative strangers. Of course, the definition of the word “dating” can have enormous differences among people, from meeting a friend for casual coffee to practically moving into a new partner’s apartment. And whether you think it is moral or ethical to be involved romantically with another individual while you are still legally married to another is an issue that you can only decide for yourself, it is good to think about the legal implications of dating while pursuing a divorce in California.
Dating Does Not Affect California’s Grant of a Divorce…
To be clear, there is by no means any law against dating while you are married, whether you are seeking a divorce or not, and California courts do not hold extramarital dating relationships against either spouse in granting the divorce. California courts will always grant a divorce to either spouse who seeks it, regardless of the issues that occurred in the marriage.
…But It Could Potentially Affect Issues in the Divorce
That said, there are potentially issues within the divorce that could in fact be affected by dating relationships. In the area of custody, the court will decide custody issues based on the best interests of the child. If a new romantic partner is living with you and/or has issues with domestic violence or drug and alcohol abuse, the court may take this into account in determining custody inasmuch as those issues affect the wellbeing of the child.
With financial issues, such as spousal support, if one spouse is being financially supported by another romantic partner (or is spending vast amounts of funds on a romantic partner), the court may also take this into account in setting an appropriate support amount.
Think About Your Real Priorities in the Divorce (and Tread Carefully)
The most common risk of dating while married, however, is the emotional strain it can put on the process of seeking an amicable agreement with the other spouse. Whenever possible, it is best for divorcing couples to reach a mutually beneficial settlement agreement regarding property distribution, spousal support, custody, visitation, and child support, as doing so will help them avoid long courtroom battles, high legal expenses, and stress for themselves and their children.
Many an amicable divorce process has been derailed by the sudden discovery by one spouse that the other spouse is already dating or in a new relationship. The other spouse’s reaction may not be rational, but the damage can be inflicted on you nonetheless.
Your first priority in a divorce should be making sure you get the best outcome for yourself (and your children) with the least amount of stress. Some are able to achieve this while also entering into the post-divorce dating world, but many are not. Speak with your family law attorney for more guidance on your particular situation.
For any questions on family law in California, contact the Law Office of Kelley C. Finan today to schedule a consultation to discuss your circumstances.